Coughing With a Fresh C-Section

Mamas- Be honest.

I want to know if this has ever happened to anyone else? Because after not one, but two c-sections- I got postnasal drip both times. If you're reading this while trying to suppress a cough that threatens to rip you in half, welcome to the club. Let's dive into the glamorous world of postpartum recovery, shall we?

Picture this: You've just pushed a human out of your body (or in my case, had one extracted via the sunroof), and you're feeling pretty darn proud of yourself. You should be! But then, the universe decides to throw you a curveball in the form of the most persistent postnasal drip known to womankind. Suddenly, you're leaving the hospital for the second time, clutching your abdomen and praying you don't cough. (((eye rolls)))

Now, I know what you're thinking. "How do I survive this comedy of errors?" Fear not, my sleep-deprived friends. I've compiled a list of hard-earned wisdom to help you navigate these treacherous waters.

The Pillow Hug Technique

When you feel a cough or sneeze coming on, grab the nearest pillow and hug it tight against your incision. It's like a protective force field for your poor, battered abs. Bonus: It muffles the sound of your cursing.

The Art of the Silent Scream

We've all been there – desperately trying not to wake the baby while battling the urge to cough up a lung. Perfect your silent scream face. It's therapeutic and makes for great selfies.

Hydrate Like It's Your Job

Water is your new best friend. It helps thin out that stubborn mucus and keeps your throat from feeling like the Sahara. Plus, all those trips to the bathroom are great practice for your pelvic floor exercises. Multitasking at its finest!

Elevate Everything

Prop yourself up like the queen you are. Extra pillows aren't just for comfort; they help drain that persistent postnasal drip. Warning: Your partner may be limited on bed space- but hey, whatever works.

The Tissue Tango

Keep tissues within arm's reach at all times. Seriously, stash them everywhere. In your bra, in the diaper bag, taped to the baby – okay, maybe not that last one. But you get the idea.

Embrace the Power of Steam

Take a hot shower or stick your face over a bowl of steaming water. It's like a mini spa day, minus the relaxation and plus a lot of nose-blowing. Glamorous? No. Effective? Absolutely.

Do Not (And I mean, DO NOT) Let Air Blow on You!

I cannot express enough how sitting under the flow of air will set any progress you're making all the way back to square no. 1. Trust me on this- stay warm, even if it means being stinky. But by all means, do not lay under a fan, vent or any other flow of air. After all- the vent above my hospital bed for 72 hours on full blast is how I ended up here in the first place. 

This is a silent culprit, in my case, for not The Great Distraction..

When the urge to cough becomes overwhelming, try distracting yourself. Count backwards from 100, recite the alphabet backwards, or try to remember all the lyrics to that '90s one-hit wonder. By the time you get to "Girl, you looks good, won't you..," the urge might have passed.

Remember, my fellow moms, this too shall pass. One day, you'll look back on this time and laugh – without fear of popping a stitch. Until then, keep your chin up (it helps with drainage) and your sense of humor intact.

And if all else fails, just remind yourself that you grew and delivered a whole human being. A little postnasal drip and a few scars are no match for your superpowers.

Stay strong (not snotty), and most importantly, stay you.

Lydia out. (drops tissue)