A Letter for Partners | After a Perineal Tear

My love,

We need to have an open and honest discussion about intimacy after childbirth. I know we're both eager to reconnect physically, but there's something important you need to understand about my recovery.

During delivery, I experienced a perineal tear. The perineum is the area between the vagina and anus, and it's common for this tissue to tear during childbirth. Mine required stitches and is still healing.

This means I need to abstain from sexual intercourse for several weeks, possibly up to 6-8 weeks or even longer. My body needs time to heal properly. Attempting intercourse too soon could cause pain, reopening of the wound, or infection.

The tear has left me feeling sore and tender. Even sitting can be uncomfortable at times. I'm dealing with some bleeding as well, which is normal but makes me feel self-conscious.

I want you to know that my need for abstinence isn't a rejection of you. I miss our physical intimacy too. But rushing into sex before I've healed could set back my recovery and potentially cause long-term issues.

There are other ways we can stay close and intimate during this time. Cuddling, kissing, and gentle touching are all welcome. I may be open to other forms of sexual activity that don't involve penetration, but we'll need to take things slowly and communicate openly.

Please be patient with me as I heal. Ask how I'm feeling and what I need. Your support means everything to me during this vulnerable time.

I promise, we'll get back to our full sex life when my body is ready. For now, let's focus on emotional intimacy and finding new ways to express our love and desire for each other.

Thank you for understanding and supporting me through this recovery process. I love you.